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Chris' Rant- by Chris Wenham

Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions

Most of these are real questions I've been asked by real people. No, I'm not kidding either, even the one about the Mac. While most of the time I've tried to talk to these people calmly and explain things in a clear manner, there are occasions where I'm just so dumbfounded at the incredible stupidity of the question, it requires a superhuman act of strength not to collapse into a puddle of laughter.

I've secretly kept a stock of snappy replies to the dumb (DUMB! Boy are we talking about brain dead!) questions that get asked every now and then. Here's a few of the printable ones, use them anytime you're at a loss for words.

"Why don't you have Windows 95? It has THOUSANDS of applications!"

"Geez, OS/2 has all these dumb acronyms -- WPS, HPFS, SOM -- how can you understand all that stuff?" "Oh yeah? Well the Mac has OpenDoc, OpenGL and drag-n-drop, what are the OS/2 equivalents of THAT???" "Haven't you upgraded to Windows 95 yet?" "Why are there no OS/2 applications when I go to my local computer store?" "Isn't it hard to get applications for OS/2?" "OS/2? Isn't that dead?" "Do you guys, like, have a graphical interface now?"
Chris Wenham is a Team OS/2er in Binghamton, NY with a catchy-titled company -- Wenham's Web Works. He has written comedy, sci-fi, HTML, Pascal, C++ and now writes software reviews.

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