It's a bird! It's a plane!
Oh never mind, it's just NetHead...
- by Brandon Fesler

Hello everybody, I hope you're having a great day.

John Thompson said recently in the OS/2 Warp Teleseminar II that "OS/2 touches the lives of millions and millions of people around the world... when you execute an ATM transaction... you are interacting with OS/2." The pundits aren't standing for this though. They want proof that you can walk into Egghead and buy an ATM machine.

Bill Gates has stated that he wants Microsoft eventually to be the sole software company for the PC. I already figured this out. When I looked for a PC version of Monopoly, it was for Windows.

CompuServe recently announced WOW!, an Internet service that is specifically aimed at novices who have managed to get Windows 95 running. Reports are confirming that all seven of them really do love it.

After IBM announced that "Merlin" would have VoiceType Dictation packaged with the operating system itself, Microsoft announced its own voice recognition system. Beta testers are ecstatic. Apparently the way it works is: You tell the machine what you want it to do. Then, it tells you that it's not going to do it, you really didn't want to do that anyway, and you're going to do this instead.

Microsoft has repeatedly "leaked" information about its upcoming server OS, "Cairo". Apparently it will be object-oriented, have totally new management facilities and have very good networking abilities. However, sources denied rumors that when it is released, it will be called "OS/2 Warp Server".

Rumors are saying that IBM is trying to strike a deal with Netscape to include Navigator in Merlin. Things aren't looking good though. It seems Netscape's next target system is the lucrative Commodore 64 market.

Recently a man walked into a service station after filling his car with gas. The attendant took his credit card and swiped it on the reader which was attached to a computer. The Windows system summarily crashed hard. The attendant rebooted the system, apologized to the customer, and tried the card again. The machine locked up.

"Look," the customer said, "I'm an IBM sales rep. I can get you a fantastic new system which is cheaper than the one you have now, automates the entire credit card system, does all the taxes, all the payroll, automatically balances the registers at night, and won't crash because it runs the latest version of OS/2."

"OS/2!" The attendant yelled. "I don't want that! It doesn't come with a pinball game!"


NetHead is a working stiff who uses OS/2 for his home PC. He has written a large OS/2 home page and is authoring The Complete OS/2 Reference Guide web site (coming soon).

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